I longed to find you and tell you that I’ve loved you and that you broke my heart – but you died.
I spoke to your son – your son you had with another woman – a woman whom you kept secret from me and on that night my anger seeped through my pores when you broke my heart. I was dangerous, but in love with you.
You broke my heart again because you died.
I remember that chilly night in the warm jacuzzi when you charmed me with your boyish grin and your strong arms and the careful way you held me.
The night I sung our song to you as we drove down the highway – a song I hear in my head – even now – you smiled and looked over at me. I loved you.
I was ready to change my name to yours. I was ready to go away with you.
All of it is now vapor.
All of these years I’ve searched for you and when I finally find you – you’re gone. Every relationship I had, you were there. They couldn’t love me like you loved me. They couldn’t hold me, like you held me. They weren’t you.
If we were together, tonight I’d be alone – missing you –
Here I am. Alone. Missing you because you died and I loved you.
—To Brian Keith Miles. I loved you so much. Rest in Peace.