Caution: This is a Rant

I have stopped myself from writing this for the past two days, but I can’t hold back any longer. I told my good friend, Dusty, that I am afraid to write rants because people might be appalled at what I have to say. But, he encouraged me to do so because I need to do it.

So…

I know some of you have heard about the audacity of two white men in Georgia who shot an unarmed black man who was jogging. The black man, Ahmaud Arbery, was killed as a result of this outlandish attack! They claimed they were protecting their neighbor from alleged burglary reports.

I AM TIRED OF WHITE MEN WITH GUNS AND ACTING ON THEIR SUSPICIONS TO KILL BLACK MEN!!!

I AM TIRED OF RACISTS!

I AM TIRED OF TRUMP!

I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE TRYING TO DEFEND TRUMP AND THE REASONS WHY THEY SHOULD CARRY A GUN!!

Two days ago, when I wanted to first write this rant, I had watched CBS This Morning news program, and they focused on black men who were targeted for wearing masks! It’s a damn pandemic!!!!

Two black men recorded a police officer following them in a Walmart store. They were wearing masks, and he wanted them to remove them. They both said, “No. We’re not allowed to remove our masks. We are shopping for cleaning supplies.” They were profiled because there were reports of black men stealing. The second report was about a black man (a doctor), who was cleaning out his van in front of his home, wearing a mask. His home security camera caught the police officer questioning him, put him in cuffs, and was berating him for wearing a mask! He was let go after another neighbor or friend, verified who he was!

I AM TIRED OF THIS SHIT!

I am tired of white people who are so cautious of black people! What have we done to deserve the treatment we receive from white America????? Historically, our ancestors were brought over here by white people, and now white people act like we’re a menace to society!!!

I remember years ago when my brother and I went to Dillards to buy a Mother’s Day gift for our mother. We were perusing the jewelry counter and perfume area. This woman – a white woman – did not ask if we needed anything. She stood back and gave us a seething look. I remember looking at her, and I smiled, but she turned and helped another person. I told my brother that she ignored me. My brother said out loud, “Let’s go. Apparently, she doesn’t want to make a sale today.”

That was my second time feeling the sting of racism. The first was when I was a sophomore in high school. The driver’s ed teacher was looking for something on his desk. He looked at me and another black student, Paul, and said, “Well, there are two of you in here. Did you take it?” Paul looked at me, and I looked at him in shock. I told my parents about it, and they called the school the next day, hoping that the driver’s ed teacher would apologize to us. I don’t remember if he did, so maybe he didn’t.

I don’t get it!

I don’t get why I have so many white friends, but my white friends only have one or two black friends! Why is that?

I heard about the horror stories my dad told me about his uncles who were lynched in the South. I was saddened to hear about those stories. My dad told me a story about when he was walking in downtown Tucson, he had to step off the sidewalk for a white woman and her little girl to have the entire path! The little girl said to her mother, “Look, mom, a nigger.” The mother tried to hush the little girl as she looked at my dad in embarrassment. My dad, being the educated man he was, said, “Well, she heard it from somebody!”

I have told my young African American students to not use the word “nigger” because it is degrading! They think it means “brother” or “friend.”

OH MY GOD!!!! Brother? Friend? I had to stop class once because one of the Turkish students said it in jest because he thought it was the right word!

We cannot allow this to go on!

I believe that every individual should read The Autobiography of Malcolm X. The reason why is because of Malcolm X’s journey from a drug dealer to what he became right before his assassination. There is a part in the book that he explains how poverty begat violence in the black community. Since the black man and woman were not allowed to become equally educated or equally paid, they had to resort to some other means (drug dealing, prostitution, gambling, etc.). The black community became a haven for poverty-stricken, desperate measures to live!  Just as a white person who was born with money is given an inheritance, the black community inherited poverty! What can a poor, starving family give their children if they were not allowed to have it in the first place?

I am in tears right now, because white people do not understand the feeling that is inherited in the black family. The inherited fear of violence haunts us! I have nephews who I pray for that they never encounter such racism!

Sometimes, I may make comments about the white community, and I admit, that’s not good. But there’s an underlying anger and confusion because of the years of degradation of my ethnicity! Many black women had to change their looks, such as straightening their hair, lightening their skin, or their eyes so that the black man would find them attractive or that they could fit in with the white women. My mother used to hot comb my hair, burn the skin around the nape of my neck and my ears so that my hair wouldn’t be so hard to comb.

I’m not making sense right now.

I’m so frustrated and upset.

It is 2020! I bet my parents thought that by this time, we’d live in some type of harmony and peace.

I’m going to end this because I have no solutions. But, I want to say there is some hope. One of my Facebook friends, a mutual friend of Dusty’s, a woman whom I have never met in person, posted that White people need to condemn white racism. She wrote, “I condemn white racism.”

Thank you, LaDonna Joy.

I saw some white people protesting in Georgia on the news about the shooting of Arbery.

Thank you, white citizens, who protested.

I genuinely believe that this is why we’re in this pandemic: we are not healthy people; we are not mindful people. The virus can be representative of our state of mind and being. We harbor anger and hatred. It is similar to the movie Ghostbusters when the slime underneath New York City was thriving on the wrath of the people.

We are so full of anger and hatred that we keep building a brick wall that is compelling us to suffocate! We have to break these walls down and stand up against hate and anger!

We have to shut down racism when we hear it and see it.

*Yes, I am a Christian, and yes, I am angry. But, remember, Jesus got angry too, and he did some damage to the synagogue!

Peace.

 

 

Author: L.S. Watson

Hi. My name is L.S. Watson, and I'm an English teacher at a charter high school. I enjoy traveling (my favorite places are Rome and Paris), writing poetry, and watching documentaries. I have a lovable yet stubborn Yorkie-Poo named Chuy.

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