Living Single

Lisa
This is me, dancing by myself at my nephew’s wedding reception. See? I’m having fun!

I think single people make married people nervous. It’s just a thought, so don’t get upset with my first sentence. People are so quick to judge a single person, or they want to get you hooked up with someone.

I am a single person and I am enjoying it immensely! In fact, I believe that being single is a gift. You know, like teaching is a gift, painting is a gift, singing is a gift. It is a gift because you have to really feel comfortable in your own skin to flaunt it and be proud of it.

I am transparent. I am a single, childless woman. I have no regrets and I am not lonely. I am not perfect and I have issues, but that is not because I am single, it’s because I’m Lisa. I am not looking for anybody to fill “a void” because there is no void in my life. I am content with my lifestyle – sans dating. No. I do not date either.

What’s wrong with me?

Nothing.

I have a big family and friends whom I can sincerely call friends. At home I have a dog who (believe it or not) talks back to me when I get home.

There was an article in Psychology Today magazine in 2018 by Dr. Bella DePaulo titled, “What Single Women Really Want.” The author referred to a survey given to single women and it was noted that single women’s number one priority is (drum roll, please) living on their own.

We all know what “society” has dropped on females: we can’t do it alone. Well…no one can be an island! You need a little help now and then, but living on our own is a way to establish strength and identity. I remember my oldest sister had once asked me “aren’t you afraid living alone?” I told her no. For one thing, I believe I am protected by God and God has given me the best alarm – my dog. He barks at everything and he has protected me from the mail carrier, neighbors leaving their homes and thunder. Whew! Good dog!

The second priority of a single woman: establishing a career.

And, why not?

I am a high school English teacher, a budding writer, and hopefully a community college instructor. That’s 1-2-3 types of careers that I am trying to establish. For women, we have to work a little harder while revving up our career. After all we are not equally paid as men, therefore, we always have to grab opportunities when we see it.

A single woman’s third priority according to the survey in Psychology Today: financial security. Yes, that is a priority with me right now. I guess that is why I am managing three types of jobs – I need one of them to work well for me!

But, the highlight of this blog is how married folks or people who are together in some sort of way view single people. Again, from the article by Dr. DePaulo, married people think of us single people like this:

  • Independent
  • Sociable, friendly, fun
  • Lonely
  • Looking for a partner
  • Shy
  • Flirtatious
  • Unhappy

Wow!

Now, here’s how single women view themselves:

  • Independent
  • Confident
  • Responsible
  • Ambitious
  • Strong-Minded
  • Adventurous

Nice adjectives!

Of course, a lot of people believe those are lies – that we are truly unhappy and lonely. I can attest to the fact that I am not. There are times that I love being at home alone away from people, and then there are times when I want to be around people. I’m finicky like that.

But, I must say that I have learned a lot about myself and I have learned to love me – to even, like myself. I have friends and family come over and they feel comfortable and at home. The reason why is because I am at peace with who I am.

I am single.

I am loving the single life and I would not trade it for anything, so please don’t feel sorry for me and don’t think you need to “hook me up.”  Just like De La Soul sang, “it’s just me, myself, and I!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author: L.S. Watson

Hi. My name is L.S. Watson, and I'm an English teacher at a charter high school. I enjoy traveling (my favorite places are Rome and Paris), writing poetry, and watching documentaries. I have a lovable yet stubborn Yorkie-Poo named Chuy.

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